I’m old and happy about it, so don’t dare call me young for my age

As published in the Sydney Morning Herald, 6 August 2021.

Reading about a remarkable woman who had recently died, I came across a description of her in old age as “a most youthful elderly person”. I am putting my obituary writers on notice: please do not use any such term to describe me.

So, not “young at heart”, not “80 years young”, or any other denial of my being happily old, and delighted to have lived and experienced so much while continuing to enjoy what I do. And let’s not confuse continuing to do what we like to do with “staying young” rather than what it actually is, which is the continuation into old age of who we are as individuals.

As one of the army of individuals who are now visibly old, my ambition is to contribute – in every way that I can – to the destigmatisation of that word, so that it will no longer be considered a compliment to pair it with any idea that however old a person is, they are cast in a better light if there is a degree of metaphorical photoshopping into some sort of youthful status.

I know, I know – there has been some research showing that those people who feel they are younger than their actual (old) age are found to be generally healthier and possibly living longer lives. But my theory, as someone who has thankfully lived long enough to get degrees in psychology, anthropology and sociology, is that’s because of the cultural value put on being youthful.

And I believe that those statistical differences could be white-anted if we give credit where it’s due to those people who take pride in being vigorously old and who can act as influencers by showing the truth of the matter: that while it’s pleasantly nostalgic to look back on a life full of experiences so far, we’re so darn lucky to enjoy the gift of more of them in our present.

While it’s not scientific, the richly satisfying and reasonably healthy lives of so many of my mindfully old family members, friends and acquaintances provide impressive support for my belief. And now that’s been backed up by the World Health Organisation with its recent finding that it’s those who hold positive views about their own ageing who live longer.

So, I’m for putting the value where it belongs: in the recognition of a good old age as the achievement that it is, and a step towards the change in the narrative around age and ageing that the WHO has called for in its 2021 Global Report on Ageism.